Sarah vs the Death of Charles Bartowski
by BDaddyDL
Summary: Sarah wakes up from a strange place, with a heavy heart. It takes a while, but it ends well. I hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Hello all, This is my first story. I merged 2 ideas into 1 story. I hope you like it. It does start out not very happily, but I am a romantic at heart, so by the end of this I hope you all enjoy this.

Since this is my first story all comments are extremely helpful, also I am not sure how the beta thing works so I am saying it now HELP.

I would like to thank Joe and Dave who are regular posters on the CHUCK THIS blog. Without there help I am not sure if this would be readable.

Finally I made sure to post this on today, because it is my Anniversary today, and the last chapter is for her.

I do not own Chuck, although if I did, I would be to busy with season 4 to write this.

**CHAPTER 1**

"Where am I?" Sarah thought to herself. Through all her training and experience waking up in a strange room always made her nervous. She sat up and looked around the room. She was laying on a wonderfully plush couch, the room seemed to be a living room of sorts, with pictures above a fireplace that had a warm fire dancing on top of a bundle of logs. She smelled a combination of cinnamon and something cooking in the kitchen.

Where am I? She thought again, she had never seen this place before. It was definitely set up better then the one time she woke up in that jail cell in Jakarta, but that was ages ago.

In the back of her brain a slow pain began to creep into her consciousness, pain, remorse, dread, guilt all hit at one time. Chuck, her Chuck was dead. Her last memories hit her like a ton of bricks, seeing Ellie crying over Chucks casket as it was lowered into the ground.

Chuck was dead. She still could not believe it. After the 5 years of working together, the countless missions. The torture each had gone though in their game of will they or wont they. Those wonderful days on the train. The beautiful wedding on the same beach where Sarah asked Chuck to trust her when they first met. The honeymoon that turned into a mad dash of kissing and exploring each other before Chuck flashed on the North Korean spy. The beautiful, wonderful, fantastic grin that just turned her into a bowl of jelly, he grinned when he saw the little plus sign on her pregnancy test.

Then she remembered Casey's face when he ran into the Orange Orange on what had been another slow day. She knew something was wrong, even before he said anything. She had never seen so much pain in his eyes. "Chuck...car wreck" was all he could get out.

Sarah had opened her mouth to ask how bad, but the words just couldn't come out. She just looked at Casey till he said 2 words she would remember as long as she lived. "He's dead."

The next week flew as all the pain hit her wave after wave, not being able to see Chuck's body because of that idiot truck driver who was speeding and lost control of his rig hitting the nerd hearder head on. Having Ellie run over to her wailing how sorry she was. The anguish and guilt she felt because she couldn't even cry during the funereal. Her damn training and her jackass of a father that prevented her from even crying at the funereal. The pain in her chest that wouldn't go away when she was laying in their bed where they shared so many wonderful memories. She heard Morgans words as he delivered her beloved Chuck's eulogy. "Chuck will be missed, not because of his deeds, but because he cared more for others then himself. "

The powerful feeling of heartache as Morgan looked directly at her and said "he will be missed because he was a fantastic husband."

"Most of all he will be remembered as he was a epic Frienn..." It was in the middle of this last word that he could say no more. He just looked at the closed casket and walked to Sarah giving her a hug.

In her career Sarah had been had been shot, stabbed maced, kicked, even attacked by a guard dog, but nothing compared to the heartache she was feeling. It was during this pain a small quiet groan slipped out of her lips.

Once she heard herself she quickly swung her legs out thinking that she had to be ready to defend us since she did not know where she was. She was a spy after all right. She had enemies.

Us, why did I think us? It was then the whole picture came into view. A lone tear slid down her face as she rubbed her abdomen where Chucks baby was growing inside her. "Where am I?" She quietly whispered.

"In my home Agent Walker."

Sarah swiveled her head 90 degrees to see her boss General Dianne Beckman come out of the kitchen.

"How did I get to D.C.?" Sarah said bewildered. " The last thing I remember is Chu. the casket being lowered into the ground." Sarah quietly scolded herself. She always looked up to Beckman, no matter how many times they disagreed over the love of her life.

"I didn't say you were in D.C. You are in my home in California."

It had been a long time since Agent Sarah Walker had been so confused. Not only could she not remember how she got there, but she could never remember anyone meeting the head of the nsa in her home. What was going on? Why was she there? How did she get there? So many questions, but there was only one thing she could say. " Where is the bathroom, I think I am going to be sick!"

Sarah Bartowski looked in the mirror after her most recent bout with morning sickness, except it wasn't the damn morning. If only she could take something for this ache she felt, but just heard Ellie's voice in her head scolding her for thinking of taking something that might hurt the baby.

Well, she had delayed long enough in here, and she needed a lot of questions answered. She grabbed the door nob and entered the living room. Beckman was sitting in a chair about 5 feet from the couch she had just been sleeping in.

Sarah looked around the room, relying on training to help her get through this. She was in a complete unknown environment, which she absolutely hated, but she could think of no way out.

"Why don't you sit down Sarah, I know you're tired. " Beckman said in a soft voice.

Now Sarah was even more confused, this was not the fire-eater she had come to know. After knowing the General for 7 years now, she had never seen her supervisor ask her to do anything.

"How long have you had this house?" Sarah asked not knowing what else to say at the moment as she sat down on the couch.

"This house has been the family house for 80 years. I don't own it, it is the house my family uses whenever we need to be away from our business." Beckman paused for a second looked directly at Sarah, but not with the eyes of the head of the NSA, but with the eyes of a friend who was worried about a friend.

"I am surprised that is the question that you asked me. The old agent Walker would have tried to get as much information as possible, as quickly as possible."

"To be honest General, I am no longer Agent Walker I am agent Bartowski." Sarah said wincing at the thought of even remembering Chucks name.

Beckman looked directly at Sarah and told her, "You're name is one of the reasons we are here."

She instantly felt anger replacing the pain she was feeling. She counted to 5 before telling her boss, " What does my name have anything to do with anything."

Sarah tried to have the sternest looks she could when she finished, but what happened next caught her off guard.

"Hows the baby?"

"H H How did you know?" Sarah looked left and right, looking for an exit. There was no way anyone was going to do anything to hurt her baby. She took a deep breath and realized it was "Casey" she muttered.

"Sarah, it's OK, if you want to have a baby I will be the first person to fight anyone thinking otherwise."

Dammit Sarah thought to herself why does she keep calling me Sarah. Hey wait what did she just say?


	2. Chapter 2

Just a reminder, I am new at this, so I am not sure where to start and end chapters. The response I got was so much more than I expected. I am not sure if this chapter is too long, or 2 short. I have a lead on a beta reader, but I know peoples schedules are tight, and since I have a lot of this story already written I want to get it out to you as soon as I can.

My thanks to the gang at CHUCK THIS blog. Without their help, well I am not sure if you would be able to read this. Thanks again Joe for not only helping with the grammar and story, but challenging me to do better.

This chapter is a continuation of the story as always please hit the review button. It makes it so much easier to do this knowing what you think. For those that have responded, I will be shooting y'all some emails soon.

I am looking for a pilot/driver that Chuck would know, and not Beckman, please shoot me a pm if you come up with something.

Still no ownership of Chuck.

Chapter 2

Sarah had been an agent for over 10 years. She could count on one hand the number of times she was as surprised as she was right now. "What do you mean?"

"Its real simple, while I cant speak as the head of the NSA, but Dianne will make sure you have that child."

There was no hiding it now, Beckman was acting just plain _strange. _What really caught her off guard was the look in her eyes. Her eyes weren't just passionate, they were almost twinkling.

"I'm sorry Sarah, telling people only what they barely need to know is a bad habit, made from necessity. What we need to get through is much too important for that."

Just as Sarah was going to respond Beckman looked at her phone. She could see a look of frustration and irritation and stood up "I have to go into another room for a second. I have to get a brief that I have to read." After that she turned around, went through the kitchen and disappeared around the corner.

Sarah stared at the ground trying to get her thoughts together. This had to be one of the unusual nights she had ever had. Slowly, Sarah felt her heart being swallowed, the ache she had felt for the last week was returning with a vengeance. She bent bent over, almost having her head touch her knees. How could it hurt so damn much! When she was able to catch her breath a few minutes later, she wondered how she got so cold so fast.

When Sarah remembered the fireplace, in the far corner of the room, she quickly got up and went to stand next to the glowing embers. She feet the warmth come back to her hands and arms. When she felt her body temperature go back to normal, Sarah looked more closely at the pictures on the mantle. The first picture made her grin. It had been a long time since she had seen Roan Montgomery, but this picture showed a much younger Roan. To be honest she was even more surprised to notice a much younger Beckman in a bikini. She even giggled for the first time in a while when the irreverent thought came to mind "I wonder if someone tried to give her a mission when she was on vacation."

It was odd seeing this different side of her boss. Sarah couldn't help wondering if she could be friends with this "Dianne" she saw in the picture. Next to it were pictures of people she had never seen before in front of what probably was this very house. She could tell from the picture that the house was in a forest of some kind. Also, the house looked to be at least 50 years old.

When she got to the third picture she saw what seemed like a large family gathering. An even younger Dianne was standing with a bunch of what looked like family. From the looks of it, the picture was taken in the early 70's. She wondered what Casey would say when she told him she saw General Dianne Beckman wearing a tie dye shirt, with old jeans cut off jeans.

"Wait a minute, who is that in that picture?" Sarah thought to herself, as she saw a 20 something women on the far left of the picture. It couldn't be, this picture was way too old, but she couldn't help grinning at whoever it was, wearing shorts so short it almost made her blush.

"Sarah, you really need to come and sit down, we really need to finish this." Beckman said, startling Sarah as she reentered the room.

Sarah looked directly at the general and walked to the couch slowly sitting down. "Finish what?" Sarah asked as Beckman sat down in the seat across from her.

"Very simply, we need to talk about your future."

"I told you I am keeping this baby." She so much wanted Chuck to be here. Even though Beckman always scared Chuck, he almost always knew what to do when emotions were involved.

"If you remember I said that I would make sure that happened. I am talking about what are you going to do for your future, after the baby is born?"

Panic began to set in; not knowing where this conversation was going was maddening to her. What was she going to do? All she had ever done was be a spy. Running away with Chuck was enough, but now that her Chuck was gone, what was left? What was she going to do to raise a child all alone? "What have I done?" she asked herself.

"Sarah, AGENT WALKER" Beckman raised her voice to get through to the women in front of her. Dianne knew this would be hard, but it had to be done. Dianne needed answers, and needed them quick for this to work out right. "Do you still want to be a field agent?"

Sarah shook her head, looking at her shoes. "No, not any more. I can no longer think about myself. I have to concentrate on being a good mother." Sarah was surprised when she saw relief in the generals' eyes when she finally looked up to look at her boss.

"I never thought I would ever hear Sarah Walker admit she can't do everything." Before Sarah could reply with an angry remark worthy of the challenge just laid before her, Beckman went even further.

"Sarah Wa" was all the general got out before being interrupted by Sarah with a single name, "Bartowski"

"That remains to be seen. Charles Bartowski's family will never be safe as long as they seem to be one of the few people genetically predisposed to handle the intersect. Orion and Chuck could handle it. Someone will eventually figure out maybe the baby can too."

Sarah could not remember any time in her life being so helpless. Beckman's words hit her square in the chest. She screamed inside her own head saying,"What am I going to do?"


	3. Chapter 3

I have a few surprises thrown into this chapter, which will play out later in the story. This isn't as long as I wanted it, and I should have posted it sooner, but you will find out why in the end. Huge, Major props go out to Joe and Dave. Your insights bounce around in my head while I am writing. I just wish they wouldn't argue with my other personalities so much.

I'm off to work, so I guess that means I do not own Chuck and do not know any of the actors. However if you have a second look up YvonneOnEllen on Facebook, and become a member. It has been made by, quite possibly, the biggest Chuck fan in the world, LittleChuckFan (twitter).

Chapter 3

Sarah looked to the side and saw movement to her left . She got into a defensive position, she relaxed just a hair when she saw a person that looked like a doctor. While he was no longer a threat to her, the questions kept coming in her mind, and she just wasn't getting answers.

As the doctor went quietly to Beckman he bent over and whispered something in her ear. Beckman nodded and looked directly at her. Beckman's eyes flashed an annoyed look, and then acceptance before she spoke to Sarah. "This is Dr Ingles. You don't know this, but he has been looking after you since you passed out at the funeral. He wants to make sure you and the baby are fine. I know you have lots of questions. I can answer only some of them. First, I have a situation that needs my attention. I will be right back." Beckman got up and headed into the other room, but as she passed by the couch she put her hand on Sarah's shoulder and looked down at her and said" If there is anything you need please let me know when I get back."

Sarah just stared forward as she saw Beckman leave. "What's going on?" she asked herself. The answers just couldn't come. Here sat bad ass Agent Sarah Walker, and she did not have any answers. So many questions, and no one to talk through them. "TALK" she screamed at herself. It was SO overrated. Just a few years ago she wouldn't have to talk to anyone, she would take the answers. Break down doors, or even skulls if it was required.

That's when it hit her like a ton of bricks. She was no longer bad ass Agent Walker. HE changed that. It had been fine and dandy when HE was around, but that bastard Chuck Bartowski got himself hit by a damn truck. He left her, just like everyone else had. He promised he wouldn't leave me. He said it was forever! The man that taught me how to love was gone, and he left this wonderful baby .. Sarah put her hands on her face and began to cry. She hadn't cried, after all she had to be strong. Let those who needed to cry do it! She could not hold back any more. Sarah felt her body start to shake as she kept crying. "What am I going to do? " she said quietly.

"NO" she screamed inside. She had to be strong. Chuck would want her to be strong. "HOW" she quietly whispered.

Sarah was startled when she got a reply, "By waking up every day and moving on." Sarah sat up moving her hands from her face to see Dianne Beckman standing next to her looking down. Sarah noticed the twinkle in her eye had been replaced with a very sad look.

"Sounds like you speak from experience." Sarah looked up at her boss. Calling her Boss seemed weird now, this was not a not a conversation she ever thought she would be having with anyone, much less The General.

As Beckman turned to sit down in the chair across from her she replied, "I do, and that is a story for later. Right now I have to tell you some things. Some of it will probably be painful, and will definitely make you angry. Before I begin, I need to let you know that Doctor will be coming in and out to check on you, and he is NOT cleared for the details of the mission you were on." Beckman then leaned forward and looked directly at Sarah saying "I need you to think like a field agent for the next few minutes. There will be time for you to think more personally later."

Sarah immediately but up those old barriers again. In the past few years they had been down for longer and longer periods of time, but after the past week those emotional shields felt comforting in a cold way. "No problem, but since I am going to get angry I guess its a good thing you made sure I don't have any knives." Sarah smiled at the last part. It was not her warm smile for her family. No, this was the smile that had scared even the most violent of men.

"Since I have all of the reports from your last mission I will try and keep this short. 17 days ago there was an escape from the supermax prison. The escape's name was known as Lizzie."

Sarah could not believe it. She realized her mouth was open form the shock, and quickly closed it. She remembered the little tart who put cameras all over the Buy More years ago.

"I see you remember her." Beckman continued on as if she was briefing some random subordinate. "She was captured 5 hours later, but the damage I am afraid had been done. She got the information out onto the grid that Chuck Bartowski is the human intersect.

Sarah started to interrupt, but Beckman held up her hand palm forward. "Please Sarah let me finish this.

It seems that my superiors found out before I did. Hell, it seems that Team Bartowski and myself, were the only ones not being told. " Beckman took a deep breath. Sarah twas beginning to understand what this whole strange meeting was about. Chuck didn't die in an accident. No he had been killed.

Sarah Walker Bartowski was never so angry, yet sad at the same time. If Chuck had been killed, then she had not done her job. She had failed Chuck. Sarah opened her eyes, the world had lost some of its color. She had could barely deal with the accidental death of _her Chuck, _but his killing was another matter. Sarah heard Beckman saying something, It did not matter anymore, she had failed him. Nothing seemed to matter. When she heard the sound it aggravated her. The damn beeping had started and would not stop. That's when she felt a man had on her shoulder. When she looked up the doctor was talking to her. No almost yelling at her.

"Mrs. Bartowski, Mrs Bartowski, Mrs BARTOWSKI!" the doctor was grabbed her wrist, looked into her eyes. "Lay down, Sarah." The doctor said, but she wasn't given much of a choice as the doctor "guided" her to a laying position.

After a few moments the doctor looked at her and told her "Remember, even though you haven't been pregnant long, you cant have that much stress. It is not healthy for the baby."

For some reason someone telling Sarah that she should avoid stress is the funniest thing she has heard..in weeks. She heard herself laughing, but inside she didn't feel like laughing, no she wanted to tear someone apart piece by piece only to take a break to wipe the tears form her eyes.

The next thing she heard the doctor tell Beckman to "take it easy, maybe change the subject to something else, at least, for a little while."

Sarah was surprised when Beckman did just that. What amazed her was that she had realized that the General talked like she had always heard her talking to the doctor, but now she was starting to talk to Sarah as a Dianne.

Sarah was wondering where this conversation would go next when she heard Dianne ask her "What did you think of the pictures on the mantle?"

Sarah had to smile. Finally was thinking about something that did not involve tragedy. "I was wondering how long you were a flower child?"

Dianne looked at Sarah with surprise on her face, "Believe me I may sometimes act like what you think John Casey's mother would act like, but I REALLY enjoyed the 70's."

Sarah couldn't help chuckling, it felt good, compared to the laughter moments ago. "Thank you for saying that. Sarah smiled sheepishly, I had thought that a time or two."

Sarah was never a big fan of feeling surprised, OK, maybe when Chuck did it, but no one else. "Why do I keep mentioning him" she thought to herself. Sarah smiled after a second, "I always thought you had something with Roan Montgomery.

It seemed to be Dianne's turn to sit back. She smiled wistfully and told her, "Between you and I, Roan made me want to quit the business and have babies." Dianne laughed, " I know what my image is, but I will tell you Roan made me a hard ass. I wanted kids and he wanted to beat Willt Chamberlins record of sleeping with different women. " Beckman's voice came back for a second, "What are you avoiding? I have worked with you too long, and seen you lie too much to not know you are holding something back. "

"I never lied to you, I mat not have told you everything, but I never lied to you.. I have always respected you, in fact, at one time, I thought I wanted to be you." Sarah replied immediately. When Sarah looked up into Dianne's eyes she knew she couldn't get away with that. "OK, never lied to you about.." Sarah paused wanting to frame this just right, but Beckman finished it for her.

"As long as you were not talking about being compromised by Charles Irving Bartowski."

Sarah stared at her for a second , and nodded quietly. She wanted to find out more about Chuck, but talking about something else was easier. In the end, she asked "who is the other young women in the picture?"

What Sarah heard her supervisor, her colleague, and her role model say changed everything. "Her name is Mary Elizabeth Johnston. She is "

"Chuck's mom?" Sarah said in a whisper.

**A/N**

**This Chapter was supposed to be much longer. I had originally planed for this to come out sooner. Then ne71 stepped in and messed up the apple cart. I am redoing a huge chunk of what is now Chapter 4. We will now ride with Chuck to the accident with a really good dose of Casey thrown in. The reaction from the first part of it from Joe and Dave, well lets just say I cant thank ne71 for expanding my horizons. I should have it in a week, unless I get people asking for it sooner. You know how to do that right. Press the itty bitty review button, come on you can do it. **


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N Again I want Dave And Joe, from the Chuck This blog. I love going to the blog because of the intelligent posts, and the respect people give opposing views._

_This chapter was originally much different. NE71 read it and suggested some huge changes, which I thought were unnecessary, but when I tried the changes, I was so wrong. _

_Finally, PJ Murphy did a fantastic job of doing a great beta, even while he is in the middle of another great story. Check out __3 Weddings, a Funeral, 2 Retirements, & a Birthday_

_I checked. My lawyers say I don't own Chuck, of course I don't have lawyers so it must be the voices in my head._

**Chapter 4**

Sarah sat there with a look of shock. General Beckman confirmed what Sarah still couldn't register.

"Yes, Chuck's mom. She is also my sister."

Beckman got a weird look on her face when Sarah started to giggle.

"What is so funny?" Beckman asked.

"I guess I have been around Chuck too long. A quote from _Star Wars_ entered my brain. 'There is another'."

Now it was time for Diane to giggle. Sarah was glad she found it funny, but one question hung in the air. When Beckman looked at Sarah's face, she stopped laughing.

"You want to know, don't you," Beckman said. "You want to know how I ordered Chuck to be killed many years ago."

Sarah tried to keep her voice calm, but it came out cold. "Yes."

"I will tell you, but I need to tell you some other things. This house has been in my family for generations. For the past 65 years it has never been lived in for more that 3 or 4 months at a time. This has been where the Johnston family recovered and recharged from our assignments. You see, Sarah Walker Bartowski, your child comes from a long line of spies."

Sarah just sat there, dumbfounded, but Beckman still had not answered her question. Sarah took a technique from training and waited silently for her to go on. She did not have to wait long.

"From the first days, in my family we were taught 'country first.' Put the United States above all else. So when Chuck became a threat to national security, I thought that's what I was supposed to do. That's why I was so glad you were placed on the detail to protect him. I knew you could do what had to be done, and slowly I realized we had something in common: we're both hopelessly compromised when it comes to Chuck. I did not know him from the time he was 3 till I saw the report that he was now the Intersect. After that bastard Graham was killed, and I started getting your reports. I knew that the only danger Chuck faced to national security was if he was kidnapped, or if the government ever tried to kidnap you."

Beckman paused for a second and looked at the semi-grinning Sarah. "There is a question I would like to ask, if I may."

Sarah was having trouble keeping it all in. So much was going on. The questions were still there, and there were still few answers. But at least she was getting some answers.

"Yes," she whispered.

"When did you fall in love with Chuck? I knew before the 49-B you loved him, but I could never figure out exactly when it happened."

Sarah looked at Diane for what seemed like an eternity. Only one other person knew this answer. _Scratch that_, she thought bitterly. One person. At that point, Sarah needed someone else to know about the moment her life changed.

"I walked into the Buy More on the first day, and I see this nerd at the counter being silly. The next thing I know, he is filming a little girl doing ballet in the store because her father forgot to put a tape in the camera. It took me longer to realize it, but after he defused the bomb in the hotel, and before I told him to trust me on the beach. I'm sure it was probably hopeless."

Sarah thought it was time to get things back on track. "So, who killed Chuck?"

Beckman looked closely at Sarah, trying to make a decision. She took a deep breath and spoke softly, but almost as if she was reading from a report.

"I did not realize Chuck's secret was out in the open for a few days. I was later informed that I was too compromised to handle the situation properly. When I discovered Chuck had a sanction in place, there was not much I could do. I was informed that at least twelve organizations were trying to capture or kill him. By the time I could find out how bad it was, all I could do was protect you.

"From what I have been able to gather, this is what happened..."

Beckman explained in her own words, and Sarah visualized what happened to Chuck that horrible day.

_Chuck was driving down the interstate with a huge grin on his face. It wasn't often he could do something for Casey. He tapped his Bluetooth and said "Big Guy" into the microphone. The familiar sound of his phone calling someone hit his ear._

"_Bartowski, Biography is doing a show on President Reagan. This better be good." Casey never answered his phone with a simple 'hello.'_

"_Well Casey, I got two tickets for tonight's Dodgers game. Fourth row, behind the plate, but I wouldn't want you to miss watching the Gipper's biography for the thirty-seventh time." _

_Chuck had a huge smile on his face. He was able to do something for Casey, and he was able to mess with him at the same time. It was a great day._

"_How did you manage to get those tickets? I know you didn't get them with your good looks." Chuck had to give him credit; even with great seats, Casey was being...Casey._

"_Remember a couple of weeks ago when I fixed that guy's computer who lived in the high-rise? He called me this morning and asked me a couple of questions about fixing his network. When he was done, he offered the tickets. I am on the way to pick them up now." _

"_Why aren't you bringing Sarah? I would have thought you'd talk about all the cute baby things you're going to buy." Casey was already tired of hearing about the baby talk and they had only known for about a week. Casey wondered when they were going to tell Beckman. Watching the general's ears turn red when she got mad was always amusing. At least as long as he wasn't involved._

"_She is with Ellie. They want to start planning the baby shower and go to the spa. There is no way my Sarah will be done in time. You know Ellie; they might be done by the time my child is born." The fact Sarah inherited a family when they got married was a gift…and a curse._

"_What time are we going to the game?" Casey asked. At least he would be able to watch the Dodgers while he put up with the ramblings of Bartowski._

"_How bout I get you..."_

_A bumble bee,_

_A flower_

_A bridge_

_A bicycle…_

_Casey had worked long enough with Bartowski to know what would stop Chuck from rambling. Chuck must have flashed on something._

"_Bartowski…Bartowski. What's up?"_

"_We got trouble, Casey. It looks like the tailing tips you gave me are working. I got a Major in the GRU following me. I'm not sure why Russian Intelligence is following me, but I don't think it's for my Dodgers tickets." Chuck was trying to keep it light, but he wasn't sure how well it was working._

"_OK. I will call Beckman and tell her on another line. Stay on this one." Casey grabbed the backup phone and called Beckman. _

_Chuck was weaving back and forth through traffic as innocently as possible. What he heard through the phone from Casey's side was not pleasant. _

"_WHAT! When did that happen? How bad is it? OK, we'll set up a plan. Yeah, I'll call you back." _

_Casey's voice took on a hardened edge. "Chuck, we have a situation. The identity of the Intersect is on the grid. You are being hunted. Stay with me, Chuck. We will get you through this." Chuck could hear Casey through his Bluetooth, but there was something else on his mind._

"_Casey, call Sarah on the...Hold on, Casey!" _

_Chuck slammed on the brakes when a car in front of him cut him off. Chuck had to wait a moment as several cars passed him to get around the slower car in front of him. When he looked to his right, __another flash hit him._

"_Crap! Casey, it looks like somebody from North Korea has decided to join the party."_

_Casey's heart sank. With two groups that close to him, Chuck's options were down to almost none. "Chuck, I'm getting in the car now. Head towards the Buy More."_

_Chuck looked down where his iPhone was as if there was something wrong with it. "Casey, now is not the time for me to get back in touch with the old gang."_

"_I know, numb nuts! But we are going to have to get you off-grid, and I need a place we both know really well in order to do that." Casey was already on the road, gunning his Crown Vic to get to the familiar store._

"_Casey, call Sarah with your other phone, Wait, no! Don't do that. She is with Ellie, and until we get this figured out, Sarah doesn't need a screaming Ellie and a panicking husband." _

_Casey had to admire Chuck. He was in one of the most dangerous situations in his life and he was worried about others. "Chuck, I will call Sarah. She will want to know. Besides, she is in danger, too. Her name is now Mrs. Charles Bartowski, remember?"_

"_Wait. Casey, I have an idea." Chuck said as he was weaving through traffic. He had not lost the cars, but he started to slow down just a bit._

_The words Casey heard next changed everyone's lives forever. _

"_Casey, there is no way I am going into a bunker. There is also no way I will subject my family to being hunted. Sarah and the baby must be protected. So, it is time for Chuck Bartowski to die."_

Sarah couldn't believe what she heard. She was never one to kill someone with her bare hands, but someone was going to pay.

"Protect ME? Protect ME?" was all she could say. It was her job to protect him. It was HER mission!

"Agent Walk...Bartowski! There is a lot more to know, but I need you to calm down. I know this is hard, but you need to hear this, and I can't do it if you're _jeopardizing_ _my newest relative_." Beckman knew by mentioning the baby she could get Sarah to calm down enough to finish this.

Sarah closed her eyes and remembered waking up in that hotel room in Paris to calm down. She was still furious, but the edge was gone now. "Please go on."

"From here it gets a little more…sketchy. Casey called me a few seconds later. By the time I am up to date, Chuck was weaving through traffic like he's Starbuck in his Viper, and he was headed for the Buy More."

"_Chuck…Chuck, quit thinking about your lady feelings. Where are you?"_

_Chuck smiled. "Chuck's busy right now. Two different groups are trying to kidnap him. Please leave a message after the beep."_

_Casey let out a growl, "If you say beep, you won't have to worry about anybody but me. What…Is…Your…Status?"_

"_OK, big guy. We'll play it your way. I am three minutes from the Buy More. Where are you?"_

"_I'm here, Chuck. The other stuff we needed is on the way."_

"_Casey, I need to flash. Hang on the line." _

_After several seconds of trying to calm himself enough to flash, he changed tactics and remembered the look on Sarah's face the day they got married._

_A stock car_

_A picture of tires_

_A guy jumping off a building_

_A foot hitting the accelerator_

"_Sorry Casey. I'm back," Chuck said._

"_OK Chuck. Are you sure you want to do this?" Casey asked._

"_I have to protect my family, Casey." Chuck paused for a second. "John, thanks for...everything."_

_Chuck looked at the phone next to him, hung up on Casey, and began typing a text to Sarah._

_I LOVE YOU. REMEMBER THE ROOM AT COMIC CON._

_When Chuck looked up, he could see the Buy More. Then he saw the semi-tractor trailer, and he hit the accelerator._

**Please remember the only payment we get is responses. I really would like to know what you are thinking. **

**Sarah figures out something soon in Chapter 5. The first one who tells me what it is will win a prize.**


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N I could not have done this without Dave and Joe. I wanted to do this story, but I am not sure if I could have put it out there without there insights. I wanted to stay as true to the characters as possible._

_Thanks guys. _

_I also want to thank the entire fan fiction community. It is a joy to be involved in this. NE71 Thanks again. Rockchick4jc did a great beta on the first draft of this. _

_PJ Murphy finished up and made the story better. He did this while writing a story and a 1 shot. _

_**3 Weddings, a Funeral, 2 Retirements, & a Birthday **is worth more than a look._

_AgentChuckles and Supesfancame really close to figuring it out. Thanks for the reviews. Thanks to all of you who reviewed._

_I know some dont like a/notes, but please induldge me a secon longer_

_**This last chapter is a late anniversary gift to lovely wife of 15 years. Not only is she my best friend, well she is just about everything to me. There is a section in here written for her, just Chuckafied. This maybe the closest I ever come to standing on a building in a crowded street shouting, I LOVE YOU.**_

**Chapter 5**

Sarah had a strange, sad look on her face. But through the anguish and sorrow, there were so many parts of the story that did not make sense. First and foremost: what message?

"I never got a text from him. What did it say again?"

"_I Love You. Remember the room at Comic Con,_" Beckman quickly replied.

As Sarah heard this horrible story, a thought started to appear in her mind. It was a small candle in a huge warehouse. It slowly became brighter and brighter until the feeling burst out of her and caught General Beckman off-guard.

"Stop! Stop right now!"

Sarah looked directly at Diane and saw her eyes. Suddenly, she noticed that now-familiar twinkle in them. The candle was now a raging inferno. _It HAD to be. _

"Why wasn't I told?" she asked, not knowing what she was feeling, but she was definitely feeling something.

_She remembered that night at Comic Con as if it just happened. Chuck had finally wore her down, and they went as Mal and Inara from **Firefly**. They had a great time at the convention. Chuck could not wait to see the panels, and Sarah got so much joy in seeing Chuck acting like he was a kid in a candy store. They had a nice dinner and were in their room. Sarah started to take off her costume, but Chuck stopped her._

"_Please wait, Sarah. I want to do something," Chuck said to her with that cute, boyish charm._

"_Chuck, I am not sure if I want to go that far into a fantasy tonight," Sarah replied with a raised eyebrow._

_Chuck laughed. "It's not that. I have something else in mind." _

_Chuck took a step closer and was only inches from her. His voice got a little deeper._

"_Do you trust me?" _

_Sarah began to answer but Chuck's right index finger raised up and ever so gently touched Sarah's lips. _

"_I mean, do you trust me to always be there for you and believe me when I say that I will never leave you?" All Sarah could do was nod her head up and down._

"_Sarah I wanted to keep this on because we always seem to have disguises on, and I thought it would be fitting that we would be wearing one when I try and give you this." _

_Chuck slowly sank to one knee and raised his left hand up._

"_Will you be Mrs Bartowski?"_

Diane Beckman looked into Sarah's eyes. She felt a tinge of guilt for what she did to Sarah. "Was it the _Battlestar Galactica_ reference that gave it away? I thought it might. Agent Thomas and Chuck just won't shut up about that show."

Sarah didn't know if she was more mad at Beckman for laughing at her or for not telling her Chuck was alive.

"Why wasn't I told?" Sarah repeated her earlier question.

Sarah has seen many things, but when she saw the head of the NSA blush like a schoolgirl, she had seen it all.

"I hope that you can forgive me, Sarah, but it was my maternal instincts. Months ago, I took the time to do some of my own spy work. Ellie will never be able to have kids. Your baby is the last of the Johnston family line."

Beckman looked close to tears as she looked away from Sarah. Beckman looked at the pictures on the mantle, as she always did to derive a sense of strength and resolve. "I did not want you to lose the baby over this."

Sarah was growing frustrated. This was becoming too much. "Where is he? Where is my husband? You're about to lose the calm, maternal Sarah to the angry, hellfire Agent Walker."

"We had to sedate him." replied Beckman.

The anger boiling inside of her was snuffed out in an instant. She could barely get the words out. "Is he OK?"

"He's fine. He's been here for six hours, but we were forced to sedate him. We thought he might have a breakdown because he couldn't talk to you."

Sarah's relief was evident when she heard Beckman say this. Sarah took in a breath. She closed her eyes for a second and felt peace for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. Maybe, just maybe, you can live happily ever after.

Sarah slowly nodded and smiled, the first real smile she felt in a long time. Sarah looked around the room. All of a sudden the colors in everything went from pale to completely vibrant. That's when it hit her. It was almost hard to say. The words came out as a church whisper.

"He...is here?"

Beckman nodded her head slowly and even managed to have a smirk. "For a high-ranking intelligence officer, you need to be quicker. Go through the kitchen, turn left, and he's in the room on the right."

Sarah shot up was about to make a dash for his door, but Beckman stopped her. "The doctor told me he should be awake in 5 or 10 minutes. Sarah, I have to go, but I will see you tomorrow."

All Sarah could do is nod slowly.

She turned and walked gingerly towards the kitchen. Her legs felt like she ran ten miles today, and her face felt like she rubbed pepper onto it. For a moment, she realized how horrible she must have looked.

She saw the door to the bedroom. She stopped in front of it and grabbed her hair to try and undo her ponytail. _It doesn't matter_, she said to herself. Letting go of her hair, Sarah Bartowski grabbed the doorknob and pulled open the door to where her husband was sleeping.

Sarah's first reaction to the room was surprise. Even though she had never been in this home before, the furnishings looked familiar. After a couple of seconds she realized it was almost identical to the room that Chuck and Sarah slept in when they were on the mission in the suburbs. At least it did in the dark. Only fifteen feet away lay her husband, the man she had thought...

She knew that breathing, who it was, and where was it coming from. There in the corner stood Colonel John Casey. And he was smiling at her.

Casey crossed the room to Sarah, and she was caught up in a huge bear hug. Sarah could not believe it. She had been partners with John Casey for 5 years, and he NEVER hugged her. _In fact,_ Sarah thought to herself, _if I am not mistaken there is even a little moisture on my neck._

John stepped away from her. His voice was subdued, "I am so sorry. I wanted to tell you. Chuckles over there got the bright idea when we found out that he couldn't keep you safe."

Casey let out a small cough before he continued. "I got there just in time to see him play chicken with a semi. When we got here I just couldn't handle the pacing, the pleading, and well …. him. So I tranqed him."

Sarah knew better. She grinned and lunged at Casey, wrapping her arms around his neck, which required leaping onto him to negate the eight-inch difference in height.

"Thank you for bringing him back. For letting me keep my life," she said softly into his ear as she squeezed him tightly.

With a mild growl of annoyance, Casey gently extracted her from around him and lowered her back to the ground. He left the room grunting something about 'lady feelings.'

Now it was just Chuck and her. _No,_ she thought to herself. _Chuck, me, and this little baby inside me._

She gazed at him and could feel the warmth surround her. This wonderful man kept his promise. A promise she thought he did not keep. For the first time since she saw Casey walk up to her that afternoon a week ago, she felt happy.

Sarah had stopped listening to Nina Simone's _Feeling Good_ because it depressed her, but now it was time for her to be home. It was time for her to finally relax. She slowly climbed into bed and lay next to Chuck. She pressed her entire body into him. She intertwined her fingers through his, and she put her head on his shoulder. She tensed when she felt Chuck take in a deep breath and slowly exhaled, returning to his normal breathing pattern. Sarah squeezed him tighter and fell asleep.

Fifteen minutes later Chuck Bartowski opened his eyes for the first time in what felt like a long time. The last thing he remembered was feeling a pinprick in the back of his shoulder. Thinking back, it reminded him of a tranq dart. With the taste in his mouth and the grogginess he was feeling, Chuck knew his instincts were right.

"Dammit Casey, I was just going to get into the surveillance van to make sure Sarah was OK. She must have been wo..." Chuck stopped in mid-complaint when he realized something didn't feel right.

_Why is my arm asleep?_ Chuck looked to see the cause.

_Why does that always happen when I'm tranqued? Great. First, I'm tranqued, and then my wife is making my arm fall asleep by lying on..._

Chuck looked down to make sure he wasn't dreaming. The love of his life was lying on her side hugging his arm like it was her teddy bear. She looked so beautiful. He was having trouble remembering why he was surprised she was there. Then he remembered last week. The car chase on the freeway, the frantic calls to Casey. Praying he didn't crash before the Intersect 2.0 kicked in, which allowed him to survive.

The worst part was having his wife, the mother of his child, suffer this past week. He knew it was the right decision, but it was the hardest week of his life. He almost made the ultimate sacrifice, and yet he survived. He left behind Ellie, Devon, Morgan, and so many others. But Sarah and his child were safe.

Chuck could count the number of times he had cried as an adult on one hand and leave fingers to spare. It just wasn't his way. That's what Ellie did. He shed a tear of joy during his wedding, But whenever something bad happened, he just turned into a zombie and stared. But for some reason, the waterworks came and just wouldn't stop. He did not want to disturb the angel beside him, so he just lay there and let the tears fall from his face. It took him considerable effort to steady his breathing so as not to wake her.

He thought a storm might be coming. He knew this was the plan they organized as a contingency had this situation ever decided to rear its ugly head, but he never liked it. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her this past week to let her know he was OK, but he couldn't. To do so would have made his 'death' a waste and put everything he knew in danger. Of course, that didn't alleviate the fact that she was going to be PISSED. He just hoped she would forgive him. At the very least he has these few minutes where he could take in his beloved Sarah sleeping. Content just to be by her, it always amazed him how lucky he truly was.

When Sarah woke up a short time later, she knew for certain where she was, and she knew she was content. Relaxed. Complete. She slowly looked at Chuck. When their eyes met they just stared at each other for a few seconds, neither wanting to say anything, not knowing what would happen when this moment ended.

Unfortunately, Chuck had to be the one to end it. "I'm sorry, but I need to use the little boys' room." Sarah moved out of the way immediately as Chuck headed for the bathroom.

He finished and splashed water on his face. He stared at his own image in the mirror. If he was honest with himself, he knew he caused his best friend pain. He had let his wife down.

He wasn't sure when it had happened, but somehow the guy who almost always said what he felt failed to do so at the worst possible time. In trying to save his wife and child, he almost caused them permanent heartache. To make matters worse, he didn't know how to talk to her about it.

_Well, it's time to man up_, he thought as he felt determination begin to course through him. Suddenly he grinned. _I wonder what Casey would think if he heard me say that._

Chuck walked out of the bathroom and he saw Sarah on her cell phone. Before she hung up all he heard was "I gotta go. Thanks. I owe you a big one."

She hung up the phone and looked at Chuck. "How do you feel?"

"I'm still a little groggy, but I woke up really well," Chuck answered with the biggest smile he could muster.

Sarah smiled shyly at Chuck, and slowly he could see her face turn to complete determination.

"What happened, Chuck?" She asked slowly and as evenly as she could.

"When I found out that my identity was on the grid, I was on the phone with Casey. There was at least two different groups trying to make a move. I had to do something, and there was no way I was going to endanger my family. Sarah, I am so sorry I screwed things up."

Sarah had to struggle not to laugh. It had been a long time since she saw Chuck talking like he had his hand stuck in a cookie jar. Even though she had days where she was happier with him, he was still Chuck. He was still _her_ Chuck.

Sarah walked to him and grabbed his shoulders, pulling him down until his head rested on her shoulder. She could feel Chuck shaking, She held on to him for several moments.

"It's OK, Chuck," she said softly into his ear. "Beckman told me. I just wanted to hear it from you."

Chuck straightened up and looked at Sarah. "How are the two of you feeling?"

Sarah smiled. "It's amazing what sleeping next to your husband will do."

Chuck smiled slowly and moved towards Sarah again. He felt so much relief. He had to kiss her. Just as his lips were about to touch hers, he felt her leg behind his, and pressure on his chest. The next thing he knew, he hit the floor hard. Sarah stood over him with one leg on each side of his waist, and her face was contorted with an extremely vicious look.

"Charles Irving Bartowski, If you EVER try and pull a stunt like that again, you won't need to worry about someone you don't know killing you. You got it?"

All Chuck could do was nod his head. Sarah's expression quickly turned to one of love and passion. She dropped to the floor, lying on top of him, and kissed him as hard as she could. After a few moments, they finally separated so they could actually breathe. Chuck was about to say something, but he gazed into Sarah's sapphire eyes and knew this was not the time for words.

"I know. Shut up and kiss you."

Sometime later, Sarah was again lying on her side with her head on Chuck's chest. She looked around and saw the clothes scattered around them.

"I don't know about you, but I am getting a little hungry."

Chuck looked at her and smiled. "Let's go see whats on the menu."

"Don't you think we should get dressed first?"

"I don't know," Chuck said with a bit of an impish grin. "I saw agent Thomas on the security detail. I think he likes me."

"Yeah, I'm sure his wife and three kids would love to hear that," Sarah smirked.

They entered the kitchen holding hands, Chuck saw a portable radio next to several grocery bags. Before he could see what was in them, Sarah stepped in front of him and told him to sit down. Chuck sat down with a strange look on his face.

"Do you know something I don't?" he asked.

Sarah opened the bag, looked at him, and smiled. He could see a glow about her that made him proud and extremely happy at the same time.

"Yep," was her answer.

Chuck was confused until she took the first item out of the bag. When he saw it he smiled knowingly. "Pancakes!"

"You know it," was the reply. When Sarah turned toward the stove, he got up. Walking to her, he placed his arms around her waist, giving her a squeeze, as he held her tight. Sarah tilted her head back to rest it on his shoulder.

"I love you," he whispered into her ear.

Sarah turned around and looked into his puppy-dog brown eyes. "I love you, too."

Cooking took almost no time at all. In fact, over the years it had become something they both loved to do, although those first few months had been very interesting.

After they began to eat, Chuck got curious. "So did you figure out what really happened?"

Sarah smiled. "Yeah, but Beckman threw an easy way to find the answer. There was no way she had ever seen _Battlestar Galactica._"

Sarah looked at Chuck, wondering whether or not she should tell him. She concluded he would eventually find out, and now seemed the best time to discuss it face-to-face. "I think she took pity on me. I passed out at the end of the funeral."

Sarah felt sorry for her husband. She would have given anything to not have to tell him that, but it was necessary. She just wished she could avoid seeing Chuck become pale and look so miserable. "I am sorry, Chuck. I wish you didn't need to know this."

Chuck looked at the ground and looked back up. "Sarah, is the baby OK?"

"Yes, Chuck, the baby is fine. Casey was smart enough to fly in an obstetrician when this started. It made it easier on Ellie and Devon." Sarah smiled at Chuck, hoping it would help him deal with the situation they were in. She paused for a moment. "Chuck, I am sorry you had to do this."

Sarah could see anger flash in Chuck's eyes. His response had an angry passion in it she rarely saw in her normally happy husband.

"Sarah, I wish that we were not forced to do this. I caused you pain, but don't for one second think I regret doing what I did."

Sarah started to reply, but Chuck raised his hand to stop her.

"Sarah, when we met so long ago, I was a completely different person. I knew I wanted to get married and have a job. I wanted to just be normal. I never knew how wrong I was. I was so stupid. I thought that it would just be a quiet life where I would live in L.A., and that would be it. Then I met you, Sarah Walker. You helped me understand that it's not about what I have. Heck, it's not about my job. It's about how I treat the people around me. How good of a husband I can be. How good of a parent I can be. That's what is important. When you came into my life, I did not know how to live. If I spent only 30 seconds of every day thinking of you, my life would still be better then the years I spent after Stanford."

Chuck paused to look at Sarah. Her face was frozen, but her eyes were a different story.

"You showed me what real love is. Even when I could not kiss you, or even feel your hand briefly touch mine, I loved you. I knew early on that telling me that you loved me was not your thing, and I am still OK with that. It just means when you do say those words to me, or you do something else to prove that you love me, the action means so much more.

"Please understand, I have a family, and I know that is something you never had. I know Ellie, Devon, Morgan even Casey are important to you...to us...but right now I don't care. I want them to be OK. If something happened to them it would be horrible."

Chuck was having trouble speaking, but something deep inside him pushed him on.

"But if something happened to you, or...or...that beautiful baby inside..of.."

Chuck could no longer speak and began to shake uncontrollably again. With tears in her eyes Sarah came and stood by him. She put her hands on his shoulders. Chuck stood up and hugged her tightly, placing his mouth next to her ear. His voice was soft and full of emotion.

"Sarah, I know there have been times where I haven't shown you that I love you as much as I think I should, but I swear to you that will never happen again. I want to wake up telling you that I love you and go to bed the same way. I want to feel horrible if we go to bed and you're angry with me. I always knew you were great at being a spy, but what has truly floored me is the depth of your emotions. I lay in bed every morning thanking God that you are in my life, and that I got so lucky that someone as wonderful as you would even be interested in me, much less in _love_ with me."

Chuck took a deep breath and pulled back from Sarah to see her face. He could see the tears welling up in her crystal blue eyes.

She looked at him and held him tightly as she could feel her heart pounding in her chest. "I love you."

When they kissed, it was different. There was an emotional connection to it that was overwhelming. It was as if this one kiss was a release for all the pain and suffering they had been through during the past week. When the kiss was broken, Chuck placed his head on her forehead. "Lets go back to bed. Beckman will be here in the morning, and I just want to hold my wife."

Sarah couldn't help thinking how much different the walk to the bedroom was this time as opposed to the last one. When they got in bed and lay down, they both had similar thoughts. No matter what tomorrow would bring, all was right in the world now.

**What do you think. Would you like a continuation to clean up some really loose ends? Or just an epilogue that finishes it?**

**Ellie finding out about Chucks secret life (I dont like how it happened in the show) **

**Will Devon and Ellie go off grid**

**What is in store for Sarah**

**Will Beckman leave the dark-side and smile at Chuck?**

**This was an important chapter for me personally, please tell me how I did.**


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